she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
