So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
