Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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