Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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