dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
