I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
