theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
