there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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