TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
