Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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