I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
