Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.

(1-207): View more from Maine

I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...

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(312): View more from Illinois

if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.

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(417): View more from Missouri

As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.

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(925): View more from California

I cannot believe I said bareback movement...

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(556): View more from

Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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(816): View more from Missouri

I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.

(248): View more from Michigan

What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?

(816): View more from Missouri

Honestly that's best case scenario.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with

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