I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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