dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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