I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
