Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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