YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my mouth tastes like poor choices
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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