All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
