kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
