Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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