I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize