My room smells like vodka and shame
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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