Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
