SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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