so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize