I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
