All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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