If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
