She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
