Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
thus making me awesome and them whores
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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