How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
