He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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