every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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