You really coming over, don't trick.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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