the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
