I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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