i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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