Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
