Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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