But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
