i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
