Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
