I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
