I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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