He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
