i just wanna soil my oats bro
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
