i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
