i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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