mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
