she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
