Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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