I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
