i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
