im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
