My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
