youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
