The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
