I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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