Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize