Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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