she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
