she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
