Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
