If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize