and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
