When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize