my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
