those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
