I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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