dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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